So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
