sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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