i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
