Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
