That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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