Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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