Non-Jews are for practice
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
