i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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