so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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