So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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