god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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