She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
