we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
