i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
