Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
