So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
