we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A+ Viking dick
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
