You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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