When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize