it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
