i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
