We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
