Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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