Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
