Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
