Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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