I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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