my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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