You're so nebulous sometimes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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