I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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