So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
