I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
