Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
