what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
