Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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