ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
