If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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