Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All the doctor said was why
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
