he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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