like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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