After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
