Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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