Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
