He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
