remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
