On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
