Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
