After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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