What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
