I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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