it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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