she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
