Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
