have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
