Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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