You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
