Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
