If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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