The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Non-Jews are for practice
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize