I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
