Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
