she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
