this boner is exhausting
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Floor bacon is actually really good
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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