yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
