it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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