i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
