you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
