He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You don't make any sense
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